Just hang on.
– Edgar McKinney’s
advice on reaching 100
My comment earlier this week on the sure signs of old age (you sit down to put on your pants) and memory lapses has apparently given me some credit as an expert in seniority.
“Why don’t you write a manual of helpful hints to address this need?” wrote Harriet Roney, who offered to assist as a consultant.
The short answer is: I don’t have to, because you readers will write it for me.
Take the issue of memory loss.
“There is a simple reason why you can’t recall where you put the car keys, phone, etc.” wrote Joseph Harris. “Those locations never entered the memory. You can’t recall an item from memory if it isn’t in memory in the first place. ... You were not paying attention to the car keys, phone, etc.”
Harris continued: “Inattentiveness is probably the most common cause of ‘memory’ failure. Though it is a problem for all ages (ask any school teacher). We seniors might think it is a sign we are losing it simply because we have a greater degree of self awareness.”
Frank Allen shared this retirement advice:
“A family member suggested I make a list of all insurance papers, bank stuff, retirement income, will, deed, passports, etc., and put all of this in a special place. Having more time after retirement, I started my project. The project really grew and took a lot of time.
“I made a list of all important bank stuff, utilities, etc., and all retirement income, showing who to contact for what, and I estimated the income my wife will receive if I die first. This took many pages.
“I next wrote a will, power of attorney, a living will, appointed an executor, and had these notarized.
“I went to the funeral home and prepaid our cremation, then went to First Baptist Church and prepaid the burial of our ashes, and made arrangements for our church services. The last thing I did was write my obituary. My wife has promised to write hers, but has yet to do so. She says she is still thinking about it …
“When I completed my project, I told a friend about my accomplishment. I was then asked if I was ‘feeling OK today.’ ”
TODAY’S JOKE: Everett Fernandez shares this one:
A young boy and his doting grandmother were walking along the seashore when a huge wave appeared out of nowhere, and swept the child out to sea.
The horrified woman fell to her knees, raised her eyes to the heavens and begged the Lord to return her beloved grandson.
Another wave reared up and deposited the stunned child on the sand. The grandmother looked the boy over carefully. He was fine.
But still she stared up angrily toward the heavens.
“When we came,” she snapped indignantly, “he had a hat!”