Bill Kirby: If you sell your car, remove your bumper stickers

It takes a lot things to prove you are smart, but only one thing to prove you are ignorant.


– Don Herold


It was one of those times when you wish you had a camera.

The car in front of me slowed down and stopped. Just stopped. In the middle of the street for what appeared to be no good reason.

I stopped, too.

Not because I’m a patient motorist, but because I am a curious one.

Shortly, a rear passenger door swung open and several beer cans came bouncing out. (Budweiser, if you’re curious. I counted three or four.)

Then, what looked like an older teen exited (police term for “got out of”) the open door and walked around the rear of the car and opened and entered the passenger front door and closed it.

Then the car started up, turned at the next corner and was on its way.

Now, the littering was not the curious thing. I’ve seen it before.

Nor were the empty beer cans. I’ve seen that, too, usually not so flagrant.

No, the thing that had my head cocked to one side like a dog listening to piccolo music was the bumper sticker. It featured the name and logo of a rather large local church, and it suggested I follow them to next service.

Well, I doubt they were church folk.

The car looked several years old, and what I think happened is it was purchased as a used model, sold off a lot near a busy highway when its original owner took up residence in a nursing home.

But I share this rather long cautionary tale to remind everyone, that if you sell the old car, be sure to remove your church affiliation.

And your school emblems.

And (if you have one) the pastor/clergy decal.


SPEAKING OF CHURCH: Billy Cooper, of North Augusta, shares these occupational hymns:

Dentist – Crown Him With Many Crowns

Contractor – The Church Is One Foundation

Massage Therapist – He Touched Me

The Candidate – Standing on the Promises

IRS Agent – I Surrender All

And for those who speed, a few traveling hymn numbers.

45 – “God Will Take Care of You”

65 – “Nearer My God to Thee”

95 – “Lord, I’m Coming Home”

100 – “Precious Memories”


LATEST VIDEO: My “Kirby’s Augusta” video this week deals with my favorite old Augusta restaurant – The Town Tavern.

I miss the Town Tavern, and in the video, I’ll tell you why.


TODAY’S JOKE: “Dad,” said Little Johnny, “I’m late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?”

“Son,” the father said seriously, “it just wouldn’t be right.”

“That’s OK,” replied Little Johnny, “but you could at least give it a try, couldn’t you?”




Fri, 01/19/2018 - 21:23

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