More Than Skin Deep: Weddings can be scary for the MOB

Dear Scott: I appreciate your common-sense approach to life and especially appreciated the column regarding wrinkles. I am a soon-to-be mother of the bride (MOB), and the soon to be mother of the groom (MOG) is younger, shapelier, more stylish than I, but it certainly seems that I’ve had more reasons to smile than she. Thanks for that upbeat viewpoint.


Answer: The MOB has big responsibilities that can cause some very unnecessary stress, especially when some of the most memorable moments of a wedding are the things that go wrong. Weddings should be a fun gathering, to support and celebrate two people that have made a decision to spend their life together, but they usually turn into a stressful and expensive production.

It also means that you will be spending part of your life, and sharing your daughter, with another mother. I can’t imagine what that must feel like, but I bet its pretty threatening. Maybe you could make a connection with this MOG.

You gave her some very nice compliments, right before you sliced her to shreds. Why not give her something to smile about by asking her to share some of her beauty secrets, and maybe you’ll make a great new friend. That would make the sharing process, all the future holidays, sharing of grandchildren, and life in general, much better. Making her smile will give her a few wrinkles too.

In the midst of all the hoopla of the wedding ceremony, you might find some consolation to the turmoil, if you know a little bit more about the background of the ceremony itself.

The first weddings were done as a means to barter property, and livestock, in return for a wife to put to labor. At times the groom didn’t even know what his new wife looked like, thus, the veil was born to hide her face. The superstition, that the groom cannot see the bride before the wedding, stems from back in these days. In case he didn’t like her, he might run away.

The train of the dress was devised so someone could step on it, as a way to prevent the bride from running away. The groom, back then, apparently had a habit of abducting the bride before the ceremony with the help of his buddies; thus the tradition of the groomsmen.

Most early weddings in the U.S. were very small family functions, with no more people than could fit in the house. Now, almost $72 billion are spent every year in the U.S. on weddings.

I would rather skip the ceremony and keep my chickens and goat. I guess we can’t have our wedding cake and chickens, too.