More Than Skin Deep: Do Cindy Crawford products erase wrinkles?

Dear Scott: Have you heard whether Cindy Crawford skin care products actually work? It is the one that has the ingredients from melons.


A: I could answer with “I don’t know,” but this question is too good to pass up a little elaboration.

Among the Sunday morning infomercials, somewhere between the remake of the George Foreman Grill and the exercise videos, are Cindy Crawford’s melons.

These melons, grown only in the south of France, last longer than the normal melon, and are depicted in a time-lapse video. With footage of a normal melon rotting and wrinkling up and a French melon remaining firm, ripe, and wrinkle-free next to it, they boast about a detoxifying extract that is derived from the French melon and is magically absorbed into the skin.

Armed guards must patrol the patch where these melons are grown, protecting the seeds, or it seems like we would have melons like these in the United States. And if these melons are in fact real, the scientists who figured out how to use them on the skin should do some sort of gene splicing that would preserve the rest of our food.

Maybe it is the constant repetition of the infomercial, or some sort of undetectable subliminal messaging (much like the phenomenon of going to Walmart for toothpaste, leaving with $200 worth of stuff, and forgetting the toothpaste) but I am compelled to try out Cindy Crawford’s age-defying melons. Anyone with any experience with them should contact me.

We all need to realize that genetics play an important role in how we age, as do sun damage, cigarette smoking, lifestyle and pollutants in the air. But the one thing everyone forgets is what mom told us when we were children, “If you keep doing that with your face, it’ll stick that way.”

Happiness causes wrinkles. Laughing is the culprit for most of the lines on your face, and the faces of others. Even a 25-year-old begins to see skin changes from wearing a smile. To test this theory, look in the mirror with a blank expression, and then think about something stupid that will make you laugh. Like magic, the wrinkles disappear without the use of any emollients.

Although you will look a little silly walking around with a big grin on your face in an effort to hide your wrinkles, some consolation can be had, knowing that as you age, an outward reflection of the happy moments of your life is as plain as the wrinkle on your face.