Dear Scott: My husband always complains that my hair is too short. Every time I get back from having a haircut he says something about it, and it hurts my feelings and starts a fight between us. How do I make him leave me alone about it?
Answer: You might want to try not cutting all your hair off.
When I ask my clients, “Does your husband like your hair?” the response is always, “It’s my hair!” But husbands are more important than your girlfriends, or your co-workers, or the lady at the checkout counter at Kroger. They are almost as important as what you think about your hair yourself.
The worst thing that can happen after spending time, and money, on your hair, is to come home and have your husband say, “What did you do that for?” It is a very negative impression that curls up and dies in the back of your mind.
Boyfriends can be a consideration in this query, but have not earned the right to have any say-so in the way you look, until the deal is signed. Once the papers are documented or you have spent at least three consecutive years living together, then his opinion should matter, too.
This is assuming, of course, that you like the person you are now sharing your life with.
Over a period of a year, the person that you live with will look at you more times than anyone else, and will look at you more than the normal person looks at themselves. So why wouldn’t you want to please?
Don’t you try to cook a dinner that they like? You wouldn’t cook peas every night if you know how much he hates peas.
Don’t you try to pick a vacation that both of you would like, and furniture that both of you like? When you look at your husband, don’t you have an opinion about the way he looks?
Hair is the one thing about your appearance that is a simple and easy way to please the person you love. You don’t even have to lose a hundred pounds or anything to do it.
All you have to do is keep your hair longer, if that is what he likes, or choose another color other than red, if he hates redheads because his last wife was one.
By accommodating his opinion in this matter, you can also avoid an awful lot of discussion about the cost involved in the upkeep of your hair. Men, as a whole, have no concept of the cost of a woman’s hairdo.
Every man in the world that marries a blonde is shocked at how much it costs to maintain her “natural” blonde hair.
Surprisingly enough, it’s about half and half as far as men liking short hair or long hair on women. Not all men like long hair. And some men truly do not care at all. But even when he says, “It doesn’t matter,” or when he says, “I love you no matter what,” it might matter to him, and he’s just being a smart man.