Bill Kirby

Online news editor for The Augusta Chronicle.

Kirby: New statistics say federal figures are cause for concern

Tuesday, May 27, 2014 1:06 AM
Last updated 1:08 AM
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The trouble with a three-day weekend is that it turns Tuesday into Monday.

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Federal holiday
observation

Sometimes government statistics raise questions.

The Centers for Disease Con­­trol and Prevention, for example, measured exercise across America, state by state. The standard was 2.5 hours of moderate intensity exercise per week, and muscle strengthening activities at least twice a week.

What do you think they found?

According to the latest-year data available, one of the most exercising, fitness-conscious places in America is … Washington, D.C., topped only by Colorado (27.3 percent.)

The study says 26.3 percent of residents of the Dis­trict of Columbia – the home of Congress, federal bureaucracy, government bloat and hot air – are among our nation’s best at keeping lean, mean, fit and trim.

Georgia, by the way, is a respectable 20.7 percent, sort of in the middle of the states. South Carolina is in the bottom third at 18.5 percent.

The two worst, least exercising states? Ten­nes­see and West Virginia are both at 12.7 percent.

YOUR POSTCARDS: Our very first postcard in our summer contest comes from Illinois Jones in Florida. It shows a tan and fit young woman whose smallish bathing suit could have been mailed with no additional postage.

Rhea Markowitz sends a baseball image of Boston’s Fenway Park, where it’s as “hot as Augusta.”

Frequent travelers Pat and Wayne Fuller, of North Au­gusta, are on the road again, too, sending cards from North Carolina’s Blue Ridge Parkway and Pennsylvania’s dairy heartland.

They say there are LOTS of cows in Pennsylvania.

TODAY’S JOKE: I recently addressed a church group about faith and the value of acting upon it, and later someone shared this story:

It seems a rural river was flooding, forcing a devout farmer to retreat to the rooftop.

A neighbor passed by in a rowboat, offering help, but he refused, saying, “I have faith. The Lord will save me.”

The water continued to rise when another neighbor passed in a rubber raft offering a hand. Again he refused, saying, “I have faith,” he shouted.

Four hours passed and as the man clung to his chimney, trying to avoid the rising water, a rescue helicopter hovered overhead and threw down a ladder. He ignored it, and eventually sank beneath the water and perished.

Soon he was standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates and not in a very good mood.

“I believed,” he said. “My faith was strong. Yet, you let me drown!”

St. Peter looked up from his roll book, shook his head and said, “I sent a boat, a raft and a helicopter. Were you waiting on a cruise ship?”


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