Becky Shipman, 15, and boyfriend Scott Davis, 17, both go to Butler High School. Scott is the varsity quarterback for Butler and Becky is a cheerleader. They have been dating for nine months. Photo by Steve Shelton/Staff

Web-posted August 26, 1996

By Lori Wiechman
Staff Writer

Alisha Hunley has a huge decision to make soon.

A good friend wants to date her, but she's not so sure she wants a friendship to escalate into romance. So, he keeps asking her out and she puts him off.

``He's too good of a friend,'' said the 18-year-old senior at Jefferson County High School. ``You never really can do anything (when dating), you have no free time.''

Welcome to the dating dilemma.

It's a problem many teens face, especially during the first days of the new school year. That and gift-giving times of the year like Christmas and Valentine's Day, are when the pressure is most intense on unattached teens to find a regular date.

Start a romantic relationship and if it moves too fast, problems really begin. Some couples face sexual pressure and worries about making the other person happy.

Date for several months and you'll probably be warned by friends and parents about being too serious. Scott Davis, 17, and Becky Shipman, 15, say their parents echo those thoughts, since the Butler High School students have spent almost every day together for nine months.

Scott and Becky say they're in love and can't imagine not dating each other right now.

``We're like best friends. We like to do the same things and we have the same interests,'' said Becky, a sophomore. ``I'm a lot better off with him.''

But spending mega time together can sometimes mess up a relationship, says Shannon McClellan, a senior at John S. Davidson High School.

She and her boyfriend of two years broke up recently, mainly because they were always together but didn't communicate well. Now she's focusing on meeting other guys, surviving tough classes and applying for college.

Break-ups and relationship problems often cause teens to confide in older friends, parents and teachers, like Evans High School science teacher Claudia Mahaffie.

She likes to pair up couples in and out of class, but her two rules of advice are: hold to your morals and upbringing, and enjoy the person for who they are, not for what they look like or have.

``(Teens) have a lot of peer pressure. They want to fit into groups and it makes them feel attractive,'' she said.

For young teens, the pressure to have a girlfriend or boyfriend can get depressing.

``It's like you don't have a life,'' said Kelly Rhodes, a sophomore at Hephzibah High School. ``When you get older, you realize somebody needs to accept you as you are.''

In Ms. Mahaffie's 20 years of teaching, only a few couples have stayed together. So she usually tells students in distress, ``Stop and look at who you're upset about. When you're in college, you'll think, `Oh my God, I can't believe I dated that person.'''