I know how it feels. You're with your family or friends at one of those "family" restaurants, and you don't want to be a killjoy, but the truth is, these restaurants are not meant for the diet savvy; they are designed for indulgence and value meals. In fact, eating at one of these family diners can be worse than eating fast food. To keep your diet wits about you, try the following suggestions for healthier choices:

Denny's

The menu features a variety of breakfast items along with standards such as hamburgers, steaks, salads and desserts. Denny's, however, has developed a "Fit Fare" menu, so you can make more healthful choices.

- Grilled chicken breast salad (without dressing): 259 calories, 11 grams fat, 10 grams carbohydrates

- Turkey breast salad (without dressing): 248 calories, 8 grams fat, 12 grams carbs

- Fit Fare grilled chicken breast dinner: 184 calories, 5 grams fat, 11 grams carbs; add two sides - plain baked potato: 220 calories, 0 grams fat, 51 grams carbs; and green beans: 40 calories, 1 gram fat, 8 gram carbs

- Boca burger with a small fruit bowl: 508 calories, 11 grams fat, 78 grams carbs

- Vegetable beef soup: 79 calories, 1 gram fat, 11 grams carbs

- Steakhouse strip dinner (no sides): 410 calories, 27 grams fat, 3 grams carbs

Fit tip: Watch the sodium. In most casual-dining restaurants, it's usually off the charts. For instance, the roast turkey and stuffing on Denny's Fit Fare menu has 4,620 milligrams of sodium - about three times what's recommended for a day.

To save calories on sandwiches, go bare and skip the bread.

Stay away from the mini burgers with onion rings (2,044 calories).

IHOP

They're best known for their high-calorie breakfasts, but they also offer standard family fare (sandwiches, burgers and salads) for lunch and dinner.

Although no nutrition information is available on its Web site, the company claims all of the following have fewer than 600 calories:

- Short stack of buttermilk pancakes, topped with margarine and sugar-free syrup

- Boca burger with a side salad and reduced-calorie dressing

- Ham scramble: egg substitute with diced ham, served with two buttermilk pancakes, Promise margarine, sugar-free syrup (a new dish coming out in November or December)

- Garden scramble: egg substitute, mushrooms, peppers, onions and tomatoes, two buttermilk pancakes, Promise margarine, sugar-free syrup

- Plain grilled chicken breast with salad, reduced-calorie dressing, steamed broccoli

- Grilled chicken breast dinner: Skip the toasted garlic bread and order low-calorie dressing with the side salad.

Fit tip: Skip the "Double Dinners" - they're just double the calories and double trouble - and the "Signature Breakfasts" - typically the foods that have the most calories.

Don't fall for the Harvest Grain 'N Nut Combo, which might sound healthy but isn't even whole grain. Avoid the "By the Basketful" items, too, which basically are fried foods plus french fries, and be sure to ask for grilled vegetables without butter or oil.

Waffle House

This is one of the largest family-style restaurant chains, with about 1,400 outlets. The menu features steaks, burgers and sandwiches - and, of course, waffles. Unfortunately, there aren't many healthful offerings to choose from other than the following:

- Egg whites

- Grilled chicken

- Chicken salad

Fit tip: Avoid the waffles. The batter is made with milk, eggs and butter, and when you have a couple with syrup and butter, you're looking at more than 1,200 calories. Avoid the hash browns - you can do much better caloriewise with a baked potato, a little ketchup and half a pat of butter.

Cracker Barrel

If you've ever traveled on a highway, you've surely spotted this chain. There are about 515 Cracker Barrel Old Country Store restaurants in 40 states.

Known for their country design and home-style cooking, they have a large menu and plenty of healthier options.

Breakfast is served all day, and the choices include egg whites and whole-wheat bread.

All of the following have fewer than 400 calories:

- Chicken 'n' dumplins country dinner plate (9 ounces) with 4 ounces of green beans and carrots

- Grilled chicken tenders country dinner plate (four tenders) with 4 ounces of corn and green beans

- Vegetable dinner plate with corn (4 ounces), green beans (4 ounces), carrots (4 ounces) and turnip greens (5 ounces)

- For fewer than 500 calories, a house salad (hold the croutons and use fat-free Italian or ranch dressing) and a 12-ounce bowl of soup (vegetable, potato, turkey noodle, chicken noodle, chicken noodle and vegetable, cheesy tomato, chicken 'n' rice)

Fit tip: They're very helpful and aim to prepare foods the way you like them. Order your grilled dishes prepared with cooking spray instead of oil. Avoid many of the "Daily Dinner Features" - pure comfort foods with megacalories - and Fancy Fixins (other than lemon-pepper grilled trout ordered with a little oil).

CHARLES STUART PLATKIN IS A NUTRITION AND PUBLIC HEALTH ADVOCATE, THE AUTHOR OF Breaking the Pattern (Plume, 2005) and Breaking the FAT Pattern (Plume, 2006) and the founder of Integrated Wellness Solutions. Copyright 2005 by Charles Stuart Platkin. Write to info@thedietdetective.com.