I haven’t done much blogging lately and I am sure that the world has been a darker place because of it. It’s not that I don’t like it because honestly I do, but it is hard to find time to write when you have a REAL job that takes up most of your time. And once you fall a few weeks behind it is hard to get back into the swing of things.
That was my situation, until I read this dating column on Yahoo.com. Their She Says vs. He Says pieces offer two different perspective on the issue of women dating jerks. I happen to be in one of my extra bitter modes because of a bad experience with a member of the female species so I felt compelled to read and then bash it. That was my plan but the writers made some valid points so I can’t totally rip the column to shreds.
The fact of the matter is that women date jerks, a lot. It falls under my 99% rule. There are only two things in life that are 100% certain but there are many things that are 90 to 99%. Cats chase mice. Dogs case cats, NBA players date white women. And women date, sleep with and/or marry jerks. I didn’t make those rules I just observe them.
Asking why women date jerks is like asking for the true meaning of life. Everyone has an opinion on it and to be honest, I don’t think there is one correct answer.
In my opinion, jerks have two things going for them that help them get women: mystery and packaging. Individually, they are good weapons. Combine them and you have a dating arsenal that is almost impossible to withstand. Let’s look at each one.
Jerks are mysterious before and after you find out that they are jerks. They are like ninjas; they can mask themselves and blend in so well that you never really know what they are up to. And by the time you find out that they are jerks it is too late, because they have done their damage.
As much as I hate to say this jerks usually have great packaging. They are some combination of tall, muscular, handsome, rich, talented and/or well-endowed. This causes women to miss jerky-like behavior.
If you are a tall basketball player, a buff football player, a rich doctor, a guy that can sing or a guy who is great in bed you have a free “be a jerk” pass. And you know what; it is your right to use it. I would kill for one so I can’t fault you for using yours.
I can’t speak for all nice guys but I have been one all my life and can tell you I’m not really mysterious and my packaging ain’t all that great. You aren’t getting a troubled soul or an enigmatic rebel. You are getting a less than attractive guy that will treat you right. Sorry, but that’s it. Most nice guys (like me) are just that… nice. And that is not what gets noticed. It’s a sad but true fact.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that women all over the world should be falling at my feet because I am admittedly not relationship material. I have enough mental and emotional baggage to fill a C-5 cargo plane. However there are plenty of nice guys out there with no issues and no faults other than being too nice that aren’t getting a second look.
Nice guys go out and are themselves and if a woman comes along, so be it. Jerks go out and target women like a lion hunting a gazelle.
Jason Ryan Dorsey’s statement about nice guys wanting to be jerks is right. I cannot tell you how many times I have tried to be one but it just doesn’t work. I guess you have to be born with a jerk gene. Even when I think I have it down pat it doesn’t work because everyone around knows me as “100 Proof Nice” so they know that “100 Proof Jerk” is just a charade. I honestly think the only way I could pull it off is to move to a new city and start from scratch. And I’ll bet you any amount of money that I would have a date every night.
Trust me ladies jerks don’t just mess up your lives they screw it up for nice guys, too. Since they usually have multiple women they are thinning out the dating pool. When us nice guys are lucky enough to get a woman, we have to be on guard for incoming jerks because you all will leave us in a heartbeat if one approaches. And when the jerk breaks your heart, we will either hear about or be punished for it if we try to date you in the future. Being the nice guy and getting punished for all the crap the jerk you dated before us did to you is no fun.
So why do women date jerks? The same reason people climb mountains and explore the oceans. Because they are there. Jerks mess them up, nice guys clean up the mess, and then they repeat the process.
As long as they exist, women will date them and nice guys will suffer for it.