Dispatches from government reporter Johnny Edwards

John Edwards betrayed me, too

Elizabeth Edwards is finally leaving her husband, the adulterous, lying, hypocritical disgrace of a former Democratic presidential candidate, even by presidential candidate standards.

Quoting a friend, The Associated Press reported Wednesday that the couple has separated, and under North Carolina law they'll have to live apart for a year before she can file for divorce.

Good for her. I feel for Mrs. Edwards, not just because her husband treated her like garbage, but also because, like her, I'm a victim. The ongoing public embarrassment caused by his selfish behavior - the tabloid headlines, the tell-all books, the endless Inside Edition segments - has violated me and countless others around the world in a way I wish more people were talking about:

John Edwards ruined my name.

Mine is a simple, humble name really, and highly common, about one rung down from John Smith. Despite this, until 2003 when Edwards launched his first presidential campaign, there wasn't anyone majorly famous that I shared my name with. Sure, there were some second- and third-tier celebs and historical figures - 18th-century theologian Jonathan Edwards, former Foreigner lead singer Johnny Edwards, former Spinners singer John Edwards, psychic medium John Edward, former Cincinnati Reds catcher Johnny Edwards, journalist and Jesse James chronicler John Newman Edwards, "Sunshine (Go Away Today)" singer Jonathan Edwards - but no one big enough to cause cashiers to giggle after you hand them your driver's license.

That changed later, especially after the former North Carolina senator became a presidential frontrunner in 2004. When I introduced myself to people, they'd ask if I were related to the candidate. I'd politely say no, thinking to myself, Yes, all people named John Edwards are in the same family. He's my twin brother. For a while there, I amusedly pondered that if Edwards won, I'd find out how people named Jimmy Carter or Gerald Ford felt.

Little did I know, then, what was in store during the next few years. Now I know how people named Charlie Sheen feel. With his $400 haircut, his cheating on a cancer-stricken wife, his lies about fathering his mistress' child, the federal investigation into his campaign finances, his unmistakeable slimeball grin, Edwards has basically done to my name what the hillbillies did to Ned Beatty in Deliverance. Now every time I introduce myself, I have to break an awkward silence by explaining that I'm not a politician or a filthy-rich plaintiffs' attorney. Now I get this tinge of self-consciousness every time I have to give my legal name to a utility company over the phone.

In many ways, I and all the other John Edwardses of the world are the ones suffering the most here.

The politician betrayed his political party, selfishly pursuing the Obama vice presidential nomination in the midst of his escapades, with utter disregard for what would have happened to an Obama/Edwards ticket if the revelations had come out afterward. But the Democrats are way past that now.

He betrayed his wife, but she can get a divorce and return to her maiden name of Mary Elizabeth Anania. He betrayed his children, but they'll get over it with some therapy.

Me, I'm stuck with my problem. Going by Johnny doesn't help, because the ex-senator goes by Johnny, too. I thought of changing my byline to Johnny R. Edwards to distance myself a little, but that won't work because that dipstick's middle name is Reid.

Of course, Edwards himself is suffering, too. He's been stripped of his dignity and his political career, and he may soon be stripped of his family.

I just wish there was a way to strip him of his name.

    • Syndicate content
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BeaufordT
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BeaufordT 01/28/10 - 05:09 am
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LOL, Johnny! Great work, hang

LOL, Johnny! Great work, hang in there, man!

Riverman1
93342
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Riverman1 01/28/10 - 06:58 am
0
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We should have left Johnny

We should have left Johnny Snakeeyes in that motel bathroom where he was hiding from the press.

Riverman1
93342
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Riverman1 01/28/10 - 08:00 am
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I mean has there EVER been a

I mean has there EVER been a bigger slimeball than Edwards (not you Johnny, ha)? He has a child with his employee knowing his wife has cancer. He makes his MARRIED aide say he fathered the child. He denies the child is his for two years. Let's hope America totally shuns this man for the rest of his life.

Gothamist
26
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Gothamist 01/28/10 - 09:44 am
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Great read John. I was up in

Great read John. I was up in Greenville SC during the primaries and met a CNN producer filming/covering the Edwards campaign, (before this affair was made public). At the time this reporter was a John Edwards sycophant! The producer had to know what this mutt was up to. Thank the lord he never became VP!

Stephanie Toone
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Stephanie Toone 01/28/10 - 11:57 am
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Hilarious Johnny! Sorry

Hilarious Johnny! Sorry about the name. That's got to suck. You did forget to mention that he also disgraced anyone who thinks wearing blazers and jeans are a good idea. I mean he did it for politicizing, but now I feel forced to cross the casual-chic look off my fashion list. Terrible.

fishman960
1504
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fishman960 01/28/10 - 12:10 pm
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Keep up the good work Johnny,

Keep up the good work Johnny, and I guarantee you that no one will ever look at you the same way they look at that "other" Edwards creep.

Joe Hotchkiss
4
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Joe Hotchkiss 01/28/10 - 01:27 pm
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Great blog entry, though I

Great blog entry, though I hate to laugh at tragedy.

KingJames
11
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KingJames 01/28/10 - 01:52 pm
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This is very good. However,

This is very good. However, I do have a humorous response to your statement, "Yes, all people named John Edwards are in the same family. He's my twin brother." Some families actually recycle names. I have an uncle and two cousins with the exact same name. Another cousin and I share the same first name and middle initial to honor our grandfather. I bestowed my name upon my first born son. My other son has my ex-wife's initials. My sister's son has my first initial and middle name. His first name is the same as one of our great-grandfather's. Even my ex-wife's brother and I share the same first name. Everyone in their family just refers to me by my first and last name together as if it was my first name only. My paternal grandfather, dad, and brother all share the same name. My brother's son was fortunate enough, though, to have my brother's first name as his middle name so the cycle doesn't exactly continue to a fourth generation. I know it sounds crazy, but we do it to honor other family members. We all have nick-names so we can tell each other apart at family gatherings. The important thing, though, is that most of us don't get into trouble with the law or make the tabloids! I hope your name situation improves, and that the infamous Mr. Edwards soon fades out of the spotlight completely.

ustabe
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ustabe 01/28/10 - 06:46 pm
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Johnny, it's a shame you have

Johnny, it's a shame you have to carry that name through life. It could be worse. No one mispronounces it. (I have name noone can pronounce correctly on the first try, nevertheless spell it.) You probably don't look like Mr. Scumbag, so you won't automatically be mistaken for him. And at least you're near the top of the alphabet. Great letter, BTW.

Riverman1
93342
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Riverman1 01/28/10 - 07:51 pm
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Johnny, the public may think

Johnny, the public may think that's you in THE tape.

OMallen
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OMallen 01/29/10 - 07:49 am
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Brilliant.

Brilliant.

Johnny Edwards
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Johnny Edwards 01/29/10 - 11:16 am
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Oh, no, I forgot about the

Oh, no, I forgot about the tape, Riverman. This is only going to get worse. A co-worker here pointed out something I didn't think of: I can never run for president. That would be like someone named Gary Hart running. Or for that matter, William Clinton.

Riverman1
93342
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Riverman1 01/29/10 - 08:49 pm
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I was thinking more about the

I was thinking more about the other John Edwards tonight After all he is a southern boy from the working class who made good. He grew up in SC, GA and NC in circumstances like many of us with parents who worked in the textile industry. He lived in Thomson for awhile until his family moved when he was 12. Did y’all know that? He went to Clemson and then NC State. I mean, he’s one of us. I imagine he lived in a series of little frame houses like the one I grew up in bouncing schoolwork around football, part time jobs at drug stores, summer jobs at the packing sheds and cars we blew all our money on so we could sit at drive-in restaurants for hours without ever buying anything. The class distinction back then was real. My daddy was stopped about his third time for drunk driving (that’s what we called it back then, none of this DUI stuff) when I was pretty young and I went with him to this lawyer’s office above this little insurance office in a strip mall with a liquor store on the other end of the building. The stairs to the office were on the outside of the building and climbing those steps, I felt like I was going up the US Supreme Court steps. Mr. Baker, that lawyer, represented a life like I only saw in that glitter dome with the ice skater I had gotten for Christmas or on TV where houses were two stories and fathers wore ties to dinner. The kids whose parents wore work clothes knew our place. I was well behaved in that lawyer’s office. We left $500 dollars poorer, but my daddy was out of trouble. He bought a half pint of Seagrams Seven at the liquor store below and turned that brown bottle up in the car before driving home. Anyway, like a few of us, Edwards scrambled to go to college anyway he could. The humble years of the kid from the poor family made him an excellent trial lawyer. He didn’t have to try to relate to the juries, he was one of them and at home in front of them. A guy I played football with in high school, whose daddy ran the little gas station (the old kind) on Hwy 78, became a trial lawyer like Edwards and won the big tobacco lawsuits and, believe this or not, made over a hundred million bucks as his share. Harvard Law doesn’t teach you what we all learned growing up. He now berths one of the largest yachts in the world in Charleston harbor. Yeah, I know Edwards went bad, but he knew he could never actually get inside of the glitter dome. Imagine being on that stage with Obama and Hillary debating to run for President with your daddy in the only suit he had in the audience wearing white socks.

disssman
6
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disssman 01/30/10 - 10:00 am
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Johnny you betrayed Augusta

Johnny you betrayed Augusta when you allowed the paper to pull down the website that had all the salaries and jobs in each department. That was the only hope of partly transparency of this city government. Please write an article as to who brought pressure to have it removed. I was looking for it this morning to determine if the sherriffs office has any maintenance personnel for the jail which was flooded and destroyed so many records, but all reference to that site was deleted. When you opened the site in March of 2009 you stated you would update the info every 6 months so we could see where our money is going to.

Sean Moores
1048
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Sean Moores 01/30/10 - 11:13 am
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Disssman, The salary database

Disssman, The salary database will be back soon as far as I know. The link from the new site is broken. I can find the direct link Monday and send it to you.

Junket831
0
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Junket831 01/30/10 - 11:54 am
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Excellent post Johnny!

Excellent post Johnny!

seenitB4
97022
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seenitB4 01/30/10 - 12:57 pm
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Why do we bring people down

Why do we bring people down because of their sexual problems?? He should have told his wife the truth from the gitgo,,then she would have stayed or not,,if he was a single guy would we still barbecue him?? If we could stop infidelity doncha think we would have the solution by now..Sex is here to stay folks,, from the beginning of time these things have happened..Read the bible & just count the # of times men were in trouble back then. I'll give him 1 thing,, he sure could tell a lie in a heartbeat & even made it believable,, not to mention make a speech when under a lot of pressure,, gee isn't that what we want in a leader,,, to hold up under great pressure..

seenitB4
97022
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seenitB4 01/30/10 - 01:00 pm
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And I don't think I've heard

And I don't think I've heard a single person say "Thank God she didn't abort his baby",,,like he wanted her to do..

disssman
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disssman 01/30/10 - 05:27 pm
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Thanks for the info Sean. As

Thanks for the info Sean. As I said it is the only partly visible data base to check on our elected officials. For instance you may want to have fun. Open the legal dept, look at part timers, notice a very identifible name and then look that name up on google and explain how someone on part time was going to school in Atlanta? I just find it strange how the position could be filled in that way. Stranger still, that student is making more an hour than many full time employees.

disssman
6
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disssman 01/30/10 - 05:30 pm
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John I feel your hurt. I

John I feel your hurt. I almost voted for that jerk. I will say I have watched his wife speak before congress and was very impressed with her. I hope she cleans him out and sends him on his way. Her and the kids deserve far better than they got.

andywarhol
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andywarhol 01/31/10 - 07:27 am
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This reminds me of the movie

This reminds me of the movie Office Space where that guy Micheal Bolton is POed because the tool Micheal Bolton started making crappy music and became famous.

blues550
380
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blues550 01/31/10 - 08:36 am
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JOHN BOY EDWARDS, JOHNNY B.
Unpublished

JOHN BOY EDWARDS, JOHNNY B. GOOD EDWARDS, JOHN JUAN EDWARDS - new handles that should give you sepratation

FallingLeaves
27
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FallingLeaves 01/31/10 - 11:56 am
0
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I never even thought of the

I never even thought of the similarity in names, because I only think of you as Johnny Edwards. That's a good thing. I had John Edwards pegged from the first time I saw him, but still hoped I was wrong, thinking it might be just because he reminded me of somebody I knew of similar appearance who made some unwise choices. Turns out they were much too much alike in their choices. What a waste. It wasn't wrong of his wife to trust him until it was proven he'd gone astray, it was wrong of him to betray her, then lie about it, which is another betrayal, and try to throw off his responsibility on someone else. It was wrong of him to allow the other women to put him in a compromised position and to put her (the other woman) in a compromising position as well. Stuff like that never ends well. What kind of an example is he setting for his children?

Riverman1
93342
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Riverman1 01/31/10 - 03:27 pm
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Actually, the politician's

Actually, the politician's real name is JOHNNY Reid Edwards.

Falcon Fan 1
0
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Falcon Fan 1 02/01/10 - 02:48 am
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The only reason John Edwards

The only reason John Edwards had another woman was so that he could do things sexual to her that his wife would not allow him to do to her. And as for him believing a woman who says she cannot get pregnant he should have had his head examined. Any married man will tell you always carry protection for yourself if not for someone else.

mable8
2
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mable8 02/01/10 - 02:40 pm
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Get over yourself, Johnny;

Get over yourself, Johnny; John Edwards did not "hurt" you, he hurt his wife and family. He embarrassed himself and the Nation with the adverse publicity even though men are well known for their daliances with the "fairer" gender. If you want to share his shame and embarrassment, that is entirely up to you--seems to me you're sad because you can no longer ride his coat-tails to fame and fortune once he committed political suicide. Since you claim to be a reporter, go home and write something of substance and worthy enough to read.

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