KIRBY: Sometimes we listen too hard

My family is my strength and my weakness.

 

— Aishwarya Rai Bachchan

 

My sister came to town to visit our parents for a few days, and after she got settled, sent me one of those “secret” text messages, asking, “Anything I should know?”

Inspired, I replied, “Make sure Daddy does his leg stretch exercises just like the ones the doctors told Mama to do. He will complain and say that he doesn’t have to do them, but be firm. Tough love!”

It was a joke, of course. One so obvious that I thought she’d see through it.

But, guess what?

When I dropped by a few days later, I casually mentioned my text, hoping we could share a chuckle.

Instead, she shook her head as if recalling an unpleasant incident … and I immediately started laughing. I got so tickled at the image of my 64-year-old sister, now a grandmother, trying to convince my 88-year old father to do leg-lifts. I couldn’t help it.

“You made that up?” she suddenly yelled in realization.

I didn’t answer, I just kept laughing.

There were tears in my eyes.

I couldn’t respond.

I couldn’t explain.

She regressed about 55 years and began to pummel me with her fists, no more effective now than half a century ago.

“Stop that,” my mother ordered from across the room.

It was just like old times – the way Christmas should be.

 

RED KETTLES: The bells keep ringing so we should keep giving.

The holiday season may be drawing to a close, but not the needs of our community, so keep remembering the Salvation Army and its bell ringers around the area.

I saw the National Hills Lions Club was doing its part over the weekend and doing it so well, I thought they earned a donation, so I went inside to get some cash from my debit card.

A few hours later in North Augusta, I was at another store and ran into bell ringer extraordinaire Gilbert Simmons, who has shown many how it’s done over the years.

‘Tis the season of generosity.

 

OUT OF TIME: Yesterday was the winter solstice — often billed as the “shortest day” of the year. That was my excuse for not getting anything done.

What was yours?

 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: God has promised forgiveness to your repentance, but He has not promised tomorrow to your procrastination.”St. Augustine.

 

TODAY’S JOKE: A professional woman used to success was uncertain about talking to an auto mechanic, so when her vehicle started making a strange noise, she sought help from a friend. A “car nut,” he told her how to explain the difficulty when she took it in for repair.

At the shop, she proudly recited, “the timing is off and there are premature detonations, which may damage the valves.”

As she smugly glanced over the mechanic’s shoulder, she saw him write on his clipboard, “Lady says it makes a funny noise.”

 

Reach Bill Kirby at bill.kirby@augustachronicle.com.

 

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