KIRBY: Save your breath about saving time

There is no passion like that of a functionary for his function.

 

– Georges Clemenceau

Earlier this week, I saw the results of a national poll that said an “overwhelming number” of Americans would like an end to that clock-changing foolishness known as Daylight Saving Time, which we go through again this weekend.

And why not?

None of the reasons given many years ago to justify this twice-a-year disruption into our lives makes sense.

It doesn’t save energy. It doesn’t save money. It doesn’t make driving safer.

So, will an “overwhelming number” of Americans get their way?

Will Daylight Saving Time join Prohibition, horseless carriages and smoking in elevators as marks of a bygone era.

I doubt it.

Bureaucrats just love silly rules.

I could suggest we just ignore it, but the government has too many ways to mess you up when it comes to time.

That was not the case in the 1970s when it tried to make us all convert to the metric system. Soon the road signs and speed limit signs on our federal interstates began to post in kilometers.

Even major league baseball parks began to the mark in meters the distance in their outfield walls.

For the most part, however, we kept our distance.

Traffic cop: “Did you know you were doing 80 miles per hour back there?”

Motorist: “Sorry, officer, I thought it meant kilometers per hour.”

The government will keep changing the clocks back and forth just to remind us it is in charge.

At least the “fall back” we enjoy this Sunday is the good one — the one when we get that “extra” hour.

What will you do with yours? I might write to my congressman.

TODAY’S JOKE: Everett Fernandez shares this one.

A woman hurried to the pharmacy to get medication, got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys inside. The woman found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground. She looked at it and said, “I don’t know how to use this.”

She bowed her head and asked the Lord to send her some HELP. Within a minute, a beat-up old motorcycle pulled up, driven by a bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag. He got off of his cycle and asked if he could help.

“Yes,” she said. “My daughter is sick. I’ve locked my keys in my car. I must get home. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?”

“Sure,” he said and in 20 seconds the car was open.

She hugged the man and through tears said, “Thank you, Lord, for sending me such a very nice man.”

The man heard her little prayer and replied, “Lady, I am NOT a nice man. I just got out of prison. I was doing time for car theft.”

The woman reached out and hugged him, and between tears she said, “And thank you, Lord, for sending a professional!”

Reach Bill Kirby at bill.kirby@augustachronicle.com.

 

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