By: Joe Hotchkiss on February 9, 2011 - 3:40pm - Add new comment
You remember the scene from the movie Caddyshack, when Danny the caddy is buttering up Judge Smails to land a country club-sponsored scholarship?
"You know, I planned to go to law school after I graduated," Danny moped, "but it looks like my folks won't have enough money to put me through college."
The uptight Smails shot back, "Well, the world needs ditchdiggers, too!"
Callous? Sure. But the world does need ditchdiggers. It also needs more people to realize that not everyone is cut out for college.
By: Joe Hotchkiss on September 15, 2010 - 3:01pm - Add new comment
Budding free-market economists say the darndest things!
After going through a fast-food drive-through recently, my 6-year-old daughter started tearing apart her kid's meal with wolverine-like ferocity to get to the toy inside.
It was a cute blonde doll, which typically would've spurred a little squeal of delight from my little girl. Instead, I kid you not, I got this question after she scrutinized the packaging:
"Why are all the Madame Alexander dolls made in China!?"
By: Joe Hotchkiss on September 8, 2010 - 3:35pm - Add new comment
So apparently the Food and Drug Administration is on the brink of approving the first genetically modified animal for people to eat - the AquAdvantage salmon.
How genetically modified will this salmon be? I'll answer that question with another question: Do you like thighs or drumsticks?
No, no, no, the new fish isn't really like that.
I think.
By: Joe Hotchkiss on August 26, 2010 - 1:30pm - Add new comment
Big government loves euphemism. Maybe not more than our tax dollars, or more than horning in needlessly on our lives, but believe it - it's true love.
Because of euphemism, America no longer has prisons; they're "correctional facilities." Garbage dumps are "sanitary landfills." Governments don't tax citizens into oblivion - they're "helping the middle class."
And people don't lie. They "misspeak."
Like at the Department of Energy.
By: Joe Hotchkiss on August 19, 2010 - 3:51pm - Add new comment
During our editorial board meetings, as we toss around the hot-potato events of the day, it seems not a week goes by that we don't lament some new example of how society is becoming less civil and more coarse.
By: Joe Hotchkiss on August 12, 2010 - 11:28am - Add new comment
Letter writer Bill Wabbersen ("Longtime barber truly was a cut above," Aug. 11) spoke for a lot of people.
If I had known Russell Maio was sick, I would have visited him in the hospital. Instead, I had the misfortune to read his obituary the other day, and my head - in more ways than one - won't be the same.
For a long time Russell was my barber. He might have been yours, too. He had that shop you've probably seen at the corner of Washington and Davis roads.
By: Joe Hotchkiss on June 8, 2010 - 4:24pm - Add new comment
You've heard about the James Bond car, right?
It's the car I've wanted since I was a kid. The 1964 Aston Martin DB5 that Sean Connery drove in the movies Goldfinger and Thunderball is headed for the auction block Oct. 27.
It's expected to fetch $5 million, but doggone it, I'm going to bid on it anyway.
Why? Because it has pop-out, front-mounted machine guns - which is the best option I've got at this point, now that Gov. Sonny Perdue has vetoed a bill that would have cracked down on slowpoke drivers in the left lane.
By: Joe Hotchkiss on March 23, 2010 - 4:05pm - Add new comment
As the unseen hand in the editorial department, I do a lot of stuff. I write editorials, lay out the pages and select their content, come up with snappy headlines, help shepherd the editorial board's presence on the Internet. Mopping. Occasional light dusting.
I also edit our letters to the editor. Yes, I'm that guy. If you've ever spit out your coffee in the morning in disgust as you've read one of our letters - wondering which buffoon is responsible for letting it get in print - I am that buffoon. Nice to meet you, too.
By: Michael Ryan on February 24, 2010 - 11:37am - Add new comment
You'll take it and you'll like it!
That seems to be the attitude among the White House and Democratic congressional leaders as they try to revive a flatlining overhaul of the U.S. health-care system.
As Washington Post columnist Michael Gerson notes, the Obama administration -- and Senate and House leaders Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi -- are looking delusional at this point. Some 58 percent of Americans oppose the Democrats' health care plans, and 61 percent said "start over" in a Rasmussen Reports poll.
By: Michael Ryan on February 17, 2010 - 4:37pm - Add new comment
The National Press Foundation's theme at its awards banquet recently was "Why journalism matters."
It's a great theme, and as a lifelong journalist, one I heartily endorse. But next year, might I suggest a theme of "Why curiosity matters."
Over the past couple of years, I've watched sadly as our entertainment media have shown much more curiosity about the lives of celebrities than our political media have shown in the words, actions and backgrounds of our candidates and elected officials.
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