Cher in the City: Let me pencil you in ... oops, my point's broken

Recently I had a conversation with a friend of mine about some plans he was making for the weekend.


I explained that because of our busy schedules I would need to make some changes to his plan. For instance, instead of us going to the restaurants he picked out, we would need to go to one closer to my office and because I had a hair appointment at 2 p.m., I wouldn’t be able to make the 5 p.m. movie he wanted to see.

After I explained that I had some commercials to finish and could not possibly leave the office for lunch by 11 a.m., he said, “Cher, really? Are you really going to go on and on about how much you have to do?”

WOW, I thought. “What are you talking about?” I said. “I was merely explaining why I can’t go to lunch.”

That’s when he said, “I know you’re busy and you have a lot to do but do you ever consider that it’s not all about you and I’m busy too?”

Huh? I was shocked.

“What you are talking about?” I said. “I just didn’t want you to make all of those plans and then be upset that I couldn’t make it or that I was going to be late.”

“Well,” he said, “remember last week when you wanted to go to that play in Columbia and I had to be up at 4:30 a.m., the next day?”

“Yes, I remember,” I cautiously replied.

“Did we go to the play?” he asked.

“Yes; what’s your point?”

“My point is that because it was something you wanted to do, I made adjustments and still did what I had to do for my job. That’s my point.”

I thought about what he was saying for a moment. He was right. He rarely told me he couldn’t or wouldn’t do something I wanted. In fact, most of the time it was me canceling on him or changing the plans he made. Had I really been that thoughtless?

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’ll cancel my hair appointment and we can go to the restaurants you picked out.”

He smiled and said, “Thank you, Ms. Best.”

All good, I thought!

“Oh! And just one more thing,” I said. “We can’t go to the ballgame Saturday because I have a remote.”

He shook his head and walked away, mumbling something about me not listening.

(wink) – Change is a process, not a state of being.